THE MARTIAL ART
OF RELATIONSHIP
THE MARTIAL ART OF RELATIONSHIP
Intensive Training for Men
Intensive Training for Men
❞
“I had my bags packed ready to leave. I am 100% confident that if I hadn’t had the practices from your training to help me focus and make her feel heard and supported that my marriage would have dissolved over the last week. I can’t thank you enough”
TA
❞
“When I’m around my partner, my level of presence has increased ten fold. There’s been times where she’s gotten emotional, I’ve stood my ground, reassured her and she’s felt almost immediately better. I was a little skeptical that anything would flow into my real life but I was proven wrong.”
JT
❞
“This was different from any other training I’ve ever done - using Martial arts training to allow inspiration and clarity to occur on the way we live life, the way we love others and ourselves.”
LC
❞
“Life has felt much more conscious and deliberate. My ability to discern and choose what I am doing each moment has increased significantly, where I would have slipped into autopilot previously. Breaking through old conditioning and patterns, allowing my true inner being to shine.”
JD
❞
“I’ve found it easier to speak more honestly and calmly, particularly if there’s been any tension or disagreements, to openly talk without getting angry. More grounded and present in my thoughts and actions and as a result react far less. I got my Mojo back.”
CB
❞
"Energised, revitalised and stepping out in to the world today with deeper presence and awareness. Connected with my children on a new level … was magical. Also rocked my woman’s world last night to the point where she commented on my energetic shift."
FP
❞
“Thank you for what you have provided Dave, and myself, over the weekend. He has come home a completely different man and it’s amazing. The energy between us has been intense (in a good way). I can see it’s only going to make our relationship and family life so much better.”
DM
You missed out!
Train Your Body Beyond Your Mind
As men, we often think of ‘relationship’ in terms of what we want most: connection, companionship, sex, peace.
But we rarely give the same weight to our everyday relationships: with other men, our children, our parents, our core team at work.
And most important of all … with ourselves.
At some point we realise that all of these realms require our conscious attention, and for most men, the habit is the same believing mindset is the way forwards.
Yet in the moments that matter most, thinking is often in the way. Or completely offline … as survival mode overrides all you’ve ever learned through the mind.
You must learn through your body - beyond the mind - how to artfully navigate the unpredictable everyday challenges of life, work, relationship, sex and intimacy … and how to walk towards the unknown from your warrior heart.
“This was different from any other training I’ve ever done - using Martial arts skills to allow inspiration and clarity to occur on the way we live life, the way we love others and ourselves.”
— LC
‘Understanding the Feminine, Sex and Relationships’
The books, the podcasts, the videos …
These may help us connect more deeply with our relational side, and for some, evolve beyond the outdated macho stereotype, and the confused and sometimes unhealthy masculine of the 21st Century.
Intellectual understanding is part of the path … but you cannot become a Black Belt through knowledge alone … while sitting in the comfort of your armchair.
Many years of working with men and couples has shown clearly that understanding theory is simply not enough.
Your success in relationship with the feminine, with other men, and most fundamentally with yourself, requires training the body and nervous system, just as we do in the dojo.
Physically engaged … coming face to face with the unknown variables of ever-changing dynamics, direction and intensity … learning to adjust, adapt and navigate whatever appears in each moment … from a spacious, relaxed, trained and practiced body … not just the thinking mind.
In this we are training towards a state of Mushin.
Mushin 無心 - Mu (“nothingness”) Shin (“heart”, “spirit”, or “mind”)
'No-mindedness’ - free from attachment, not fixed or occupied by thought or emotion and thus open to everything.
Where Martial Arts Meet Relationship
This approach to training men has been informed by two decades of relational work with men and couples around the world across all relationships, including sex and intimacy.
The ‘body first’ training approach is based on thousands of hours of personal deep-dive exploration and practice in many relational modalities, including twenty five years dedication to traditional Japanese martial arts.
● Feel how your breath and bodily tension directly impacts the room, your awareness and your inner freedom ... Learn to relax your body and expand your awareness so you can move and respond with more freedom, power and changing intensity.
● Step powerfully into challenge and confrontation as though “You Are Already Dead" - a fundamental Samurai battlefield philosophy ... and understand what this means in everyday relationship with woman, work and world.
● Train your body-mind to be fully here, now, feeling where your partner is in each moment. In relationship, she wants to feel you completely with her, fully present, connected, undistracted.
● Practice greater awareness of your body in relationship to another. She wants to feel your awareness of all her body through yours, and to feel your sensitivity to her movement, tension and relaxation.
● Expand your skills in handling your partner physically, with playful confidence, body control and dynamic unpredictability. She wants to surrender to you, and to feel she can relax her body, mind and heart, knowing you’ve ‘got her’, physically and emotionally.
● Face your fears, grow your courageous heart and embody your willingness to step calmly into the unknown ... the wild unpredictable feminine storm … to dance, not control, through challenging confrontations in sword and knife training.
● Feel how strength, resistance, and perceived ‘failure’ affect the freedom of your mind and body, and limit your ability to receive, respond and flow ... and how this makes you less available and less trustable to your intimate partner.
● Explore which flavours of martial art forms best serve the moment (e.g. judo vs tai chi vs ninjutsu) … and understand how this same core principle applies in intimacy and sexual exploration.
● Discover the essence of ‘mushin’ (no mind) - living from a sense of emptiness and freedom from thought, trusting your embodied training in each moment, navigating from the heart, belly and balls ... rather than being headstrong and rigidly sticking to a set agenda, plan or outcome ... which usually doesn’t go well in relationship!
“I had my bags packed ready to leave. I am 100% confident that if I hadn’t had the practices from your training to help me focus and make her feel heard and supported that my marriage would have dissolved over the last week. I can’t thank you enough”
— TA
“Life has felt much more conscious and deliberate. My ability to discern and choose what I am doing each moment has increased significantly, where I would have slipped into autopilot previously. Breaking through old conditioning and patterns, allowing my true inner being to shine.”
— JD
“When I’m around my partner, my level of presence has increased ten fold. There’s been a couple of times where she’s gotten emotional, I’ve stood my ground, reassured her and she’s felt almost immediately better. I was a little skeptical that anything would flow into my real life but I was proven wrong.”
— JT
Budō 武道 "The Martial Path"
bu (武:ぶ) meaning "war" or "martial"
dō (道:どう; dào in Chinese), meaning "path" or "way",
(includes spiritual “path”)
Tai jutsu 体術 - tai (“body”) jutsu (“practical art” or “skills”)
Refers to any techniques involving the martial arts or the optimisation of natural human abilities
Relationship to SELF: balance, flow, self-awareness and body control
(feel into these as internal/external, from the body not the mind)
Tai sabaki 体さばき - tai (“body”) sabaki (“movement”)
Relates to 'whole body movement', evading, moving and positioning the body in all planes, horizontal and vertical.
Relationship to OTHER: presence, distance, timing, responsiveness
(feel into these as spatial, physical, mental, emotional, dynamic)
Traditional Japanese Martial Skills You Will Explore
Kenjutsu 剣術
The Art of the Legendary Samurai Sword
Precision. Grace. Honour.
Exploring Mutō Dori 無刀捕 (empty hand defence)
Facing a swordsman, unarmed, at the edge of life and death.
Deep practice for staying grounded, relaxed and courageous in the face of adversity, bringing many valuable lessons.
Tantojutsu 短刀術
Tanto (“short blade”) Jutsu (“practical art” or “skills”)
"Tanto" (knife) or "Kaiken" (dagger): Primary use was for close-up self defence, and to penetrate armour.
Tantojutsu carries a very high risk of being cut, and so is an excellent martial art form to sharpen presence, full-body awareness, responsiveness, relaxed flow … and maintain a calm, spacious mind … all as a metaphor for courageously stepping into uncomfortable confrontation ... committing fully … with the feeling of ‘already dead ’ … the way of the Samurai.
Through presence, respect and challenge, with courage and with honour, each man trains to serve the other, to bring out the best in all.
At a deep, primal and genetic level the warrior knows the day may come where we may fight, protect, and even die … side by side …
Conscious Physical Engagement Amongst Men Awakens The Warrior Heart
What Men Say
“I’ve found it easier to speak more honestly and calmly, particularly if there’s been any tension or disagreements, to openly talk without getting angry. More grounded and present in my thoughts and actions and as a result react far less. I got my Mojo back. I got that flow back.”
— CB
"Energised, revitalised and stepping out in to the world today with deeper presence and awareness. Connected with my children on a new level … was magical. Also rocked my woman’s world last night to the point where she commented on my energetic shift.."
— FP
“Thank you for what you have provided Dave, and myself, over the weekend. He has come home a completely different man and it’s amazing. The energy between us has been intense (in a good way). I can see it’s only going to make our relationship and family life so much better.”
— DM
Event Details
Includes:
Foundations & QA: 6:30-8pm | Date TBC
Integration & QA: 6:30-8pm | Date TBC
Limited places - previous events have consistently sold out
About Bujinkan 武神館
Hall of the Divine Warrior
武 martial 神 Gods or deities 館 hall
The Bujinkan is an organisation of Japanese martial arts, merging the knowledge, training and fighting skills of 6 Samurai Ryu (‘ryu’ = schools or disciplines) and 3 Ninjutsu Ryu.
These nine schools were inherited by Dr. Masaaki Hatsumi from Grandmaster Toshitsugu Takamatsu after his passing in 1972.
The Bujinkan was founded in 1974 by Dr. Hatsumi, 34th GrandMaster of the 900 year old Togakure Ryu (school).
These martial art traditions passed down through many generations are not a competition sport, with sparring for points or submissions like judo or karate, but a collection of battlefield skills and training in sword, knife, staff, spear and many other weapons.
Bujinkan is a way of life, of survival, and of mindset around responsiveness, flexibility and flow, of being open to new ways of seeing and doing, of changing direction, technique and tactics until you find a way that works, and of the inner peace and spaciousness required for the inevitable unknown.
Commitment to a life of training in martial arts can be described as “Shugyō” 修行 literally translated as “conducting oneself in a way that inspires mastery” or “determined training that fosters enlightenment”.
Important Safety Information
The workshop exercises are based on traditional martial arts techniques, but there will not be punches or kicks that land with any strength, or any throws or painful joint locks.
The intention of the exercises is to train you to be totally present and focused on your partner: to feel rather than think, to respond from your body not from your mind, and to move fluidly, confidently and decisively with balance, flow and grace – all of which apply to your physical, emotional and intellectual interactions with your intimate partner ... and everybody else.
Some techniques may have the potential for injury if you play too hard, so it is very important that you follow and respect all instructions given.
We will be training just as we do in the dojo, on mats and with safe practice weapons.
You will be guided to serve and protect your training partner to ensure maximum learning, with safety as top priority.
This will be moderately physically demanding. All fitness levels welcome.